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So i walk into a room. My Host had been having a party of sorts and halts the ongoing discussion in order to introduce me. Oh, by the way, I am a single Lady of 30; desperately searching for that tall(or not so tall anyway), dark other that would decorate my fourth finger with a precious stone(or steel; at this point, i don’t really mind). Anyway, this host of mine does the “meet X”s and i do the proportional “…Nice meeting you, X”s, at the same time mentally putting all the fine males in the room through my eligibility/suitability test. My hungry eyes rest on one of them. From all outward indications, he fits my ideal husband image like the tight pink dress i bought at SED mall last Saturday fitted me.  My host notices my ‘inspector duties’ and quickly bursts my very colourful hope balloon.

“Forget it. He is married. Happily” That should be a deterrent i guess. But, what happens is that i realize my subject now has added radiance. A glow i didn’t notice on first appraisal appears, and,…
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What came over me? No. Seriously, something did come over me. The problem with me is you.Really it is. I didn’t know what i was doing. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. It was the devil! No, God! He gave me an F.
We are familiar with that part of us that relegates blame to some seen or unseen third party right? Perfect. I want to do a cute little talk on it. As some of my more assertive friends would say, ‘let us thrash this matter’, or at least, let us try to. There’s almost always no harm in trying out stuff(unless by trying out stuff, you mean trying out poisonous substances, or trying to see if a concentrated acid bath would do what it is said to do- in which case i cannot really assure you that there is no harm in trying- or other downright dangerous escapades)


The first time i actively discussed this particular topic was some months ago during my internship when my fellow intern (name withheld J) proposed a theory. Which is not in any way new, i must add. “We should all t…


To be honest, i think this post smacks of narcissism. Still, i like to write. So, why not write about something i can completely relate to as opposed to some alien abstract theory i am supposed to be able to relate to?  Sometimes, when people tell me my teeth is white, and they like that, he shakes his head. He tells me that what they really mean is that i am quite dark in complexion, and the contrast between my skin colour and teeth colour creates an illusion of the teeth being whiter than it actually is. “This, my dear is what they mean, they just don’t know it”. Even he says this, i tell him “you are over analyzing again. Just accept the compliment and leave it at that” He nods and doesn't.
Introducing, (a round of applause for this gentleman please) the guy in my head. For purposes of this discussion, let’s call him Parano. Yes, Parano would do. ‘Parano’ is a ‘subset’ of 'paranoia', and the latter fits this context almost perfectly.

Meet Parano. Apparently, his abode …


No bad breath!
No halitosis. Oops, i said that already. Awesome, no? Well, I’m not finished yet. No acne. No unsightly pimples. No brown teeth. No long jagged fingernails and/or toenails with not meager an amount of debris underneath. No flappy flesh under the arms (right now, I’m recalling flappy bird with a smile), no slack belly, no body odour, no feet smell as a result of escape from a prison shoe, no dirty collars, no smelly weaves. Are you cringing yet? Hold on. No slimy unnameable orange-brown substance in the ear. No uncombed hair. No unwashed clothing that gives off the smell of, well, something that is a cross between expired sweat and something sour. No gruesome scar on the right thigh. No obsession with nose picking. No saliva spray during vocal speech.Okay. i think i made my point . I’ll stop with the NOs now.
Em, what am i even saying? Oh, yes. The topic is : the almost quirks of virtual love. I think that ‘the beauty of virtual love’ would have been a better topic. Still, I…


He is not tall. In fact i can reasonably say that height is not his strong point. Before that, let’s do a little introduction. In my almost four years as an undergraduate, i have encountered quite a number of types of individuals in different kinds of administrative positions. By administrative, i mean positions of authority that entail attending to students. Before i bore you, let me narrow this to the matter at hand. I've seen irritable, angry, hot-tempered, short-tempered, quick-tempered, rude, angry and irritable people. I am not trying to impress with language here. I've walked into offices as a green undergraduate seeking help and gotten treatments that brought tears to my eyes, meted out to me by fat women behind desks, who ignored their duties and munched egg-roll or boiled groundnuts, and gossiped about their office colleague who had stepped out to pee. I've been walked out of offices because a lecturer didn't like the fact that i did not immediately understa…


Hi!! So yesterday i blogged about this contest that compelled me to publish fifteen posts before midnight! And i stopped by like the third post. Truth is...i was composing my fourth when Grrhh!...It started with the disappearance of Wi-Fi. I kept on composing it in the hope that the signal would(most definitely) soon float back within range, and, then, Voom! The power went out. Too. So basically i lost the contest before i even started.But, <shrugs/> it's all good. I'm just going to continue. So i had a wonderfully stressful day but came to the realization of something great today. I HATE LONG LECTURES
Bye! Thanks for taking the time.


...Just a reminder: Still on the contest....
Hi Reader, I have decided to make this post a poem which i am going to compose on-the-fly. I call this Poem  IT.
It is always with me.
i can't get rid of it.
I try, i really do try
But still it makes me cry

In the midst of their nerdy specs
In front of one hundred eyes
When questions approach