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Showing posts from July, 2014

THE ALMOST QUIRKS OF VIRTUAL LOVE

No bad breath!
No halitosis. Oops, i said that already. Awesome, no? Well, I’m not finished yet. No acne. No unsightly pimples. No brown teeth. No long jagged fingernails and/or toenails with not meager an amount of debris underneath. No flappy flesh under the arms (right now, I’m recalling flappy bird with a smile), no slack belly, no body odour, no feet smell as a result of escape from a prison shoe, no dirty collars, no smelly weaves. Are you cringing yet? Hold on. No slimy unnameable orange-brown substance in the ear. No uncombed hair. No unwashed clothing that gives off the smell of, well, something that is a cross between expired sweat and something sour. No gruesome scar on the right thigh. No obsession with nose picking. No saliva spray during vocal speech.Okay. i think i made my point . I’ll stop with the NOs now.
Em, what am i even saying? Oh, yes. The topic is : the almost quirks of virtual love. I think that ‘the beauty of virtual love’ would have been a better topic. Still, I…

TRIBUTE TO A MAN WHOSE NAME I DON’T KNOW.

He is not tall. In fact i can reasonably say that height is not his strong point. Before that, let’s do a little introduction. In my almost four years as an undergraduate, i have encountered quite a number of types of individuals in different kinds of administrative positions. By administrative, i mean positions of authority that entail attending to students. Before i bore you, let me narrow this to the matter at hand. I've seen irritable, angry, hot-tempered, short-tempered, quick-tempered, rude, angry and irritable people. I am not trying to impress with language here. I've walked into offices as a green undergraduate seeking help and gotten treatments that brought tears to my eyes, meted out to me by fat women behind desks, who ignored their duties and munched egg-roll or boiled groundnuts, and gossiped about their office colleague who had stepped out to pee. I've been walked out of offices because a lecturer didn't like the fact that i did not immediately understa…